Is the Moon Really Made of Cheese?


For years, children and mice knew the truth: the moon was made of cheese.  Parents read them stories that confirmed this fact, and, after all, the moon frequently appeared as a yellowish orb with a delicious cheesy texture.  The little ones were happy with the truth, and the mice hoped that one day they could visit this very happy place, which to them was an all-you-can eat buffet.


Then NASA, using suspicious scientific inquiry, determined that the moon was not a lovely cheesy ball, but a rocky place that man should visit, study, and plant flags on.  The children of the world protested, insisting that the moon should be left untouched for the lunar mice to eat in peace.  Also, they were afraid that no more delightful stories would be written about the moon after astronauts landed, as children and mice do not love to hear about rocks and craters as much as delicious Swiss and cheddar slices that taste so good on crackers and as grilled cheese sandwiches.

So when the astronauts actually landed on the moon and sent pictures and reports back to Earth about its hard surface, the children were disappointed, and the mice were inconsolable.  What they didn’t know was that the astronauts who walked on the moon had immediate sunk to their knees in cheesy goodness, actually getting stuck in boulders of Gouda and puddles of Brie.


NASA was quite embarrassed about its mistake, but more than that, they were unprepared for how violently ill the astronauts became.  They had terrible stomachaches and some broke out in hives.  The situation was all very upsetting to the space program, since everyone was expecting good news about the moon trips, especially since they cost so much money.


After several flights where all the astronauts became ill, doctors determined that they were lactose intolerant, and since this condition was common among those who wanted to fly to space, any more moon visits would be impractical. So NASA stopped visiting the moon, and children were free to dream about all the lunar dairy products that they wished.


Keep being Ewenique!

Diane Rae

Master Cheesemaker

Di BlackW

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